Last Orders
by goldenbubbles
Summary: A heartbroken Ron acts out his deepest after hours fantasy. He always did have a thing for Madame Rosmerta, who knew she liked him back? Very dirty one shot


Ron sat high atop his bar stool, slumped precariously across the countertop. His fiery red hair was even messier than usual and his freckled cheeks were flushed a deep pink.

He felt a hand clap him hard on the back and his head crashed forward off the arm he was leaning on and smacked hard onto the marble bar.

'What in the name of black magic?' he blurted, awoken from his stupor.

His brothers Fred and George doubled over with laughter at the sight of their younger sibling.

'What do you look like Ronald?' George chuckled.

'Mum would be so proud' Fred agreed.

'Bugger off,' Ron grunted and laid his weary head back on his arm.

Look just because you got dumped doesn't mean you can mope around the pub every night getting drunk by yourself. You've got to get yourself back out there little bro!' said Fred enthusiastically.

'Easy for you to say,' moaned Ron,' you've got girls falling at your feet. Luna was the only girl who's really taken an interest in me and I blew it.'

'No that's not true. That Lavender girl seemed pretty obsessed with you for a while. Then again she was a complete psycho so I don't suppose she really counts,' said George. 'Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, girls like an upbeat guy who can make them laugh, not a depressed drunk. You can use the fact that you got dumped to get chicks. They love a sob story, go for the sympathy vote!'

Madame Rosmerta came back from the store cupboard and returned to her post behind the bar. She began to clean the used tankards as it had been a slow evening and it was nearly closing time.

'We're going back to school mate,' said Fred to Ron, 'you coming?'

'Nah,' said Ron, not looking up.

'Suit yourself, just remember what we said. You've still got time to pull tonight.'

Ron ignored them as they let the bar.

'A double shot of firewhisky,' Ron said to Madame Rosmerta for the tenth time that evening, 'and one for yourself.'

'Oh thanks,' said Rosmerta, pouring out the drinks. 'You drowning your sorrows tonight love?'

'Something like that. My girlfriend dumped me a couple of days ago.'

'Oh you poor dear. Here, this drink's on me.' She passed him the shot glass and he lifted it to his lips as she did the same. They simultaneously threw back their heads and winced as the liquid burned its way down their throats. Rosmerta sucked in cold air through her teeth, not used to having shots.

'You learn to love it,' Ron mumbled.

Rosmerta chuckled and went back to cleaning glasses.

Slowly the bar emptied until there were only five occupants left. Madame Rosmerta rang the large brass bell behind the bar and called last orders. Once their drinks were finished, the four vampires at a table in the corner left leaving Ron and Rosmerta alone at the bar.

'Another firewhisky please,' Ron said.

'I already called last orders, sorry.'

'Oh go on. I'll buy you one too.'

'You can't stay here all night. If I give you one more you have to leave after that.'

'Deal.'

Rosmerta poured out the drinks and they quickly knocked them back again.

'Now out,' she said once she'd recovered.

'You know, it'll be mighty lonely for me going back to my cold, empty bed alone. Do you fancy going somewhere?'

'I can't, I've got to sort this place out.'

'Then I'll keep you company.'

'Ron,' she warned.

'I won't be any trouble. Go on it'll be fun. Admit it, you don't want me to leave.'

Rosmerta giggled. She could already feel her head beginning to spin.

'Alright, just for a little bit.'

'Good girl,' Ron slurred. His hands and feet were numb and he felt sleepy and warm.

'Pass me that bottle,' he said, and Rosmerta handed him the half full spirit bottle.

Ron grabbed two tankards from the countertop and drained the bottle into them.

'You've got to be joking! I can't drink that much!' Rosmerta laughed.

'Yes you can,' Ron said simply, passing her a tankard.

He drank deeply from his own. He was now so intoxicated that he couldn't feel the burn of the alcohol. Rosmerta sipped more delicately at hers, but soon found herself feeling tipsy and wild.

'You know, you're my favourite red head,' she slurred.

'You're my favourite barmaid,' Ron grinned at her. 'But I didn't think you knew who I was.'

'Of course I did. You always come in here with that strange girlfriend of yours.'

'Ex-girlfriend,' Ron corrected her.

'Oh that's right, you're single now, she said, leaning further across the bar towards him.

To break the awkward eye contact they both drank deeply from their tankards again.

Rosmerta winced and coughed and then laughed loudly. Her vision was blurring and her eyes were taking a second to catch up every time she looked at something new.

'I need to sit down,' she said, and stumbled around the bar and sat next to Ron.

'You've got lovely hair,' she said breathily, running her slender fingers through Ron's mane.

'Thanks,' said Ron, 'you've got lovely breasts,' he blurted inappropriately.

Rosmerta giggled. 'I know, they're my best asset. Want to have a feel?' she asked brazenly.

Ron gave a lazy lop-sided grin and lunched his hands forward until they brushed up against the soft, firm roundness of Rosmerta's bosom. He fumbled around, cupping and squeezing them gently as Rosmerta closed her eyes. She sighed lightly as he undid the top few buttons of her shirt and slid his fingers under the fabric of her top. Her creamy skin was like silk to the touch. Soft and flawless. He grappled with her bra and reached under the wire until his thumb and forefinger found her nipple. He pinched it until it formed a nub and rolled it over his palm, still squeezing and caressing the whole of the breast.

Her eyes still closed, Rosmerta rubbed her hand up and down Ron's thigh. With each caress she came closer and closer to his crotch. As she lightly skimmed the fabric covering his manhood, she felt his trousers strain as he stiffened. She gripped hard and rubbed the base of her palm up and down and her fingers gently stroked where his balls lay.

Ron let out a quiet moan and closed his eyes. His hand stopped moving inside her top as he concentrated on the sensation in his pants. When he opened his eyes, Rosmerta's face was close to his but her eyes were still screwed shut. He shifted forward and placed his lips on hers. Her eyes sprang open and they locked blurry gazes.

Ron pulled back, thinking that he had gone too far, but before he could remove his had her lips were back on his with force. She quickly snaked her hand around Ron's waist and used his body to pull herself up into him. He was still sitting on his bar stool and she was standing on one leg, the other hitched up near his waist, their bodies pressed firmly together in a passionate clinch.

Rosmerta groaned breathlessly into Ron's mouth as he ran his spare hand up the back of her skirt to clasp her ass. He rammed her hips into his own so that her crotch rubbed against his. He ground into her, his erection now painfully pressing against his trousers.

Noticing this, Rosmerta bent down to her knees and ripped the clasp of Ron's trousers off. As she yanked them down to his ankles, his cock sprung forward at head height. She pulled down his boxer shorts and firmly gripped his shaft. Slowly, she began to rub back and forth, sliding her fingers around the tip. Then she took the head in her mouth, still caressing the base with her hand. Ron gasped as her experienced tongue swirled around the tip and then her whole mouth enveloped a large proportion of his cock. She sucked and licked until her lips were swollen, swallowing the pre-come that dripped out onto her tongue.

She kissed her way back up Ron's stomach, lifting his top up as she went, finally lifting it off his head. They resumed their frantic kiss as Ron peeled Rosmerta's top off her slick, sweaty body. Once she'd pulled off her own bra, Ron dove onto her supple breasts, squeezing, pinching, licking, sucking, and biting. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath whilst still devouring her chest.

Rosmerta stood with her legs slightly apart, and Ron took this opportunity to reach down and peel off her skirt. Then he began to caress her vagina. It was completely hairless and wet with pleasure. He drove one finger up her as far as it would go, exploring her inner walls and fingering her unseen desires. She tilted her hips to drive his finger deeper and he met her thrust with another finger. Slowly, he worked his thumb upward to her clitoris and massaged it, using her juices as lubricant.

'Ron,' she moaned, leaning her head back in abandon.

At this, he could no longer stand not being inside her. He scrambled desperately onto the bar, knocking glasses and tankards to the floor with smashed and clangs. He dragged Rosmerta up to join him and she fell on top of him. With limited space, Ron sat with his legs slightly apart, his back pressed up against a mead pump. Rosmerta straddled him with her toned legs and lowered herself onto his hard cock. She sighed as he filled her up. Slowly, she ground her hips back up and then pressed down again, controlling her motions and steadily building a rhythm.

'Faster,' Ron breathed into her ear.

She built up her speed, bucking her hips on top of his, sliding her sweaty torso over his. Her breasts were level with Ron's face and he began to suck at her nipples once more. He held onto her waist as she ground up and down his shaft, pleasure building up deep within both of them with every thrust.

As Ron felt his orgasm build, he let go of her waist and planted his hands firmly on the bar. He used the extra leverage to thrust his hips back up against hers creating a greater friction. Rosmerta was practically bouncing on Ron's lap. Both were breathless and exhausted but they carried on, kissing, licking and biting every piece of skin that came into contact with their lips.

Finally, with one almighty thrust, Ron came in shudders within Rosmerta's cave. She rocked slowly against him until his bursts of euphoria dissipated and then climbed off him.

Before she lost any arousal, Ron laid her across the bar and began to lap at her clitoris. He rammed three fingers into her warm, wet hole and pumped furiously in and out. He sucked and licked her sweet spot until she too came, her inner walls contracting and pulsing against Ron's fingers.

Both spent, they lay back on the countertop. They were equally sober now and they just lay in each others arms until their breathing retuned to normal.

'Wow,' breathed Rosmerta.

'I know!' said Ron.

After a while, they both dressed.

'You'd better go, your friends will be wondering where you are,' Rosmerta said.

Ron nodded and headed towards the door. Then he turned back and kissed her on the mouth.

'I'll come and see you tomorrow,' he said.

'OK,' she agreed and began clearing up the smashed glass.

The next morning Ron woke with a pounding headache, but a clear memory of the night before. He smiled into his pillow and then climbed out of bed to go to breakfast.

Fred and George accosted him in the great hall.

'And where did you get to little bro? Harry tells us you didn't get in all night.'

'I hooked up with someone,' grinned Ron, 'you were right, women love a sob story.'

His brothers laughed and congratulated him.

'So who was it?' Fred asked.

'You'll never believe me but it was Madame Rosmerta!' Ron grinned.

'You're right,' said George, 'We don't believe you.'

'It's true!' Ron protested, 'ask her if you like.'

'We intend to.'

Later that evening the three brothers went down to the three broomsticks for a drink. As soon as they had waked in Ron dragged then to the bar.

'Hi Rosmerta,' he said brightly.

'Hi, did you get home alright last night?' she said.

Fred and George looked disbelievingly at each other, it seemed as though Ron had been telling the truth.

'Tell my brothers what happened between us last night.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean, tell them about how we hooked up. They don't believe me.'

'What do you mean we hooked up?'

Fred and George sniggered in the background.

'We had sex don't deny it!'

Rosmerta chuckled. 'All I remember is you getting really drunk and falling asleep at my bar. I didn't even realise until late and had to wake you up and kick you out. I think you had a dream sweetie.'

Ron flushed bright red. 'No it was real!'

Rosmerta chuckled again. 'Sorry. But I hope I was good in your dream!'

'Y-yeah you were,' Ron said quietly and then ran out as his brothers chased him, laughing like maniacs. He was never going to live this one down.


End file.
